Sexuality is “fuel burning,” and its management is key to a healthy romance
Learning about self-love is paramount to quit pressurizing a romantic relationship, but on the other hand that is what relationships are for: to learn about the self. Relationships as a whole offer this opportunity, although one learns much faster when sexuality is involved because sex reveals the Ego’ s Fear of Being. A disharmonious self creates unbalanced surroundings. Both, the self and the environment are mirrors of one another, as the Principle Of Correspondence indicates.
Being in Love is a state of Mind that allows a 3rd choice essential to expansion. Relationships that thrive the most are whose partners are not overly focused on security, emotional and material. The best relationships work in the *now* because neither project the fear of losing his or her mate. With fear, the Economics of Sex takes over, and relationships begin to mimic a mercantile aspect (partners trade their security), which has been the most prevalent form of relationship in our left-brained and materialistic society. Dysfunctional families are the consequence of that very shaky premise.
Unfortunately or not, today, serial monogamy is too the most common model for partners, therefore. When a relationship does not work, separation is often the 1st choice, and the 2nd is to remain together because moving on is kind of scary or financially difficult. Serial monogamy is passed on from one generation to the next, although this pattern has more downsides than upsides. Interestingly it is very common to witness that the 3rd or 4th romantic attempt (with a different partner) is generally more fruitful as the two sides of the fence have been tested and accumulated experience in knowing their own selves. Some people may need more than a 4th attempt though. Some may never find out because they haven’t comprehended their own Fear Of Being.
Eventually, serial monogamy will end, when a more deep knowledge about the self has been assimilated and with the encounter with someone on the same path and has learned a great deal about his/her own thought processes. Such a pair is now ready to truly Love.
When we look at Nature, animals only mate to procreate. And the same observation holds absolutely true for any living organism. They basically have no other choice. For humans it is different because they belong to a higher realm of awareness, meaning that they must learn about Love and Its inherent processes.
And this means that sexuality mainly serves three purposes: mating, excitement, or cosmic loving. Excitement (polarization) is always short-lived, and that is why it also has sold so well throughout the ages. In relationships, passion only lasts while it can, up to two years at the most. As for mating, it is a huge responsibility that comes with many strings attached. So mating offers extremely limited occasions in the end.
A Sacred Relationship is by definition a romance that hasn’t started up burning out its fuel called sexual energy. A Sacred Relationship also is an interaction that is more intellectual, though very flirty at time. Such a position allows feelings to deepen… or will manifest that quest for that special mate still is open. A Sacred Relationship starts thus with the Mind, which is the 1st Natural Law, the cause and effect of everything, but then expresses itself with the Heart. When a relationship chooses sexual expression first, generally lovers’ vibrations stay at that level because the latter can’t seem to move beyond the polarity they have created, male vs female, and burn out their fuel as a result.
Very often people who have been through a torrid passion, end up exhausted or wasted and find their (ex)partner less attractive over time. Only the Mind and the Heart can prevent the spilling of fuel. A Sacred relationship regards intimacy as a plus to enhance Love as lovers or mates care about a balanced lifestyle. They also are very aware of the inherent downsides of fuel burning. They will thus find cheating unappealing and moderate their own intimacy spontaneously, without creating any frustration of any kind. Sexual Energy is for them Sacred.
Besides asceticism, that’s the only choice we have as humans: excitement that always sends us back in a full circle to square one … or Sacred Intimacy in harmony with the Balanced Universe — and which helps one attain the full awareness of the self.
ps: this series aims at promoting a return to genuine relationships in a world that is overconsuming sex and driving men and women farther apart